I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
