I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
