dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
