She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
