I wish I could teleport
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
