Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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