If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
