I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
