I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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