That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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