Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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