I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize