Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
