I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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