I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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