At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My friends, they love my intelligence
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
