Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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