We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize