i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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