We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
