Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
