508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
