Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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