that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
