We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
