you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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