I CAN MOONWALK!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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