I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
