I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
