i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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