Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
