Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
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What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
