Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
