I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
