I wanna bring you to show and tell
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
