Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
