Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
