Your tits are I can't wait for
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This house was built for laser tag.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
