whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
