i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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