She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize