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• (314): View more from Missouri

  we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in

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• (406): View more from Montana

  My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You gift wrapped a tampon.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold

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