belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
