either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
