my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
