I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
please come you make the beer taste better
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
