you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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