we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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