I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
