Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
