I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
