It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
