Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
