He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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