you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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