my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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