Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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