Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
