no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
birth control should be required to get into college
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
