I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
